The order for the last few months has been, “For your safety and the safety of others, please stay at home.” COVID-19 has brought monumental challenges to this world and smaller challenges to my personal world.
My daily life right now consists of three basic postures: (1) facing-the-daily- grind kind of things, (2) trying to stay in tune to His voice, and (3) trying to trace His hand in the events that are taking place.
And I am content. It is not that life is easy, but I find I have interior-ized something that my Russian mentor, Catherine de Heuck Doherty, taught me. In her book, Poustinia, Catherine was teaching the Western culture about the Eastern view of a hermitage. Not able to live in a secluded cabin as the old hermits did, we have the presence of God (our private little cabin) within us. I have carried that image for many years: My home is in me, so, in reality, I am always at home.
I Am at home; He is at home in me (John 15:5). And this sovereign God who is at home in me has everything in HIs sovereignly control.
But . . . I am still faced with living out the daily grind of the (almost) house-bound existence.
Days get confusing. Ooops, this is Thursday. We forgot to put the trash out.
I order my groceries only to find out I must wait over a week for a pick-up time.
I am looking at the Brady-bunch style of Zooming with my friends when I would rather be welcoming them into my home with a warm hug.
I wave at my neighbors driving down Kitten Creek Road, but I really have no idea how they are doing during this difficult time.
I wander around the house in a fog at times, not motivated to mop the floor, dust the furniture, or wash the windows (even though they need it) because I can do it tomorrow or the next day or the next day or the next day and no one is coming anyway.
Yet, I love my house, and I am at Home. The Spirit of God ministers peace, contentment, and yes, even joy.
My second posture is to attempt to stay in tune with the voice of God. For me, that means getting up early in the morning when I can savor a time of solitude with the Word. I need to hear His voice to cancel out the noise of the media that shouts alarming and sometimes/constantly(?) untruthful messages.
My good-old Poustinia book speaks once again to me here:
Stand still, and allow the deadly restlessness of our tragic age to fall away like the worn-out, dusty cloak that it is. . . Stand still, and lifting your hearts and hands to God, pray that the mighty wind of his Holy Spirit may clear all the cobwebs of fears, selfishness, greed, and narrow-heartedness away from your soul. Pray that his tongues of flame may descend to give you the courage to begin again. All this standing still can be done in the midst of the outward noise of daily living and the duties of state in life. For it will bring order in the soul, God’s order, and God’s order will bring tranquility (45).
The third posture that I take is to lean into the sovereignty of God. I am limited to a very mortal body. I cannot possibly address all of the pain in my world. However, with prayer, I can take that phone call from a heart-broken friend; I can encourage my friends who are suffering from low self-esteem, anxiety, fear with words of encouragement; I can practice patience and share love with my dear extroverted husband as we work through our house-boundedness together.
As I wait in the midst of it all, I can repeat, “I wonder what God is doing now?”
